Rebecca Patty
@rebeccapatty
A failure of modern shooters are the extensive features. I don't want a complicated UI devoted to leveling up my character. I don't want to have so many attacks that you can button mash your way through the levels. Halo avoids all of this. There are aliens. They are quasi-religious about some mysterious ancient rings. They are hell bent on blowing up the universe with said rings and you need to stop them. Some of the aliens lose their faith and join team Human. Sometimes there are zombies too. The weapons system is simple, but trial and error forces you to learn what weapons are most effective against particular enemies. All in all, pretty fun to shoot aliens and drive warthogs.
| Aliens |  |
| Zombies | |
| Cortana | |
| The Arbiter | |
| Couch Rotting Post Graduation | |
You know when you put earbuds in your pocket and the cords get hopelessly knotted? That happens to my back because I “don’t stretch” and “constantly tense my back.” Anyways, this woman, who is a real hoot and holler, somehow finds every little knot in my back and gets rid of it for me. Anytime I get ready for a massage I get undressed in .00023 seconds and teleport under the sheet because I guess I think it would kill me to assertively say through the door, “one moment please.” She puts this infrared light on my back and when I peak to see the bright red light I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge in the gritty 1970s adaptation of A Christmas Carol when Scrooge gets sent to hell, minus all the ghoulish terror of course though it would be fun if the music changed to reflect the spooky vibe. She always tells me crazy stuff about my muscles and how she can totally tell how many knots I have and while I am deeply impressed by her skill, anybody could vaguely gesture at me and find a muscle that is tight. Bonus is that she touches both sides of my back before ending a massage so I don’t feel lopsided as I walk out to my car, which is the only walk in which I don’t hurt. A shame I’m moving because now my back hurts like the unmassaged masses.
Pretty good pizza, not as good as Center Street Pizza in Logan. They take great care to make sure their crust has a good crunch, but that means that the plate isn’t really a plate but more of a bumpy carrying tray as to make sure no moisture gets stuck in the crust. I got a gyro themed pizza which was pretty good but it’s hard to make salty seasoned lamb not good so I wasn’t too impressed. Apparently I once’s ordered a calzone here and the entire experience was completely forgotten but it feels like I set myself up for failure but they also shouldn’t let you make bad choices. Don’t bring any conservative guests here that easily get rage baited because every waiter is a different Gen Z stereotype and their break room must be filled with the TikTok robo woman’s voice reading captions on simultaneously displayed feeds.
We got seated in this side room and apparently they’ll only feed you certain meals depending on where you sit. I was sitting in direct sunlight and could hardly see anything. The breakfast sandwich I got was delicious but it was also the spiciest food to be eating while absolutely baking in the hot sun. The entire time I was snooping on a couple sitting at the next table. This beautiful woman was doing everything short of making out with her date to get his attention while he only would say a few words and mostly looked at his phone. I thought about throwing a fry at him from my brother’s plate to try to snap this guy back into reality but every fry costs about $3. Would like to try it again though.
A road trip is about as American as you can get. Driving through Southern California you can get romantic about the desert and feel like Joan Didion as the desert passes by your window. The desert makes you want to build, to write, become an artist. On the open road you leave your past self behind, a person who seems a stranger now, because the scenery is transcendent. It’s changed you as you sit, snacks at the ready.
I've got a whole stack of various supplements I take every night. Sure, half of them are probably a form of modern day snake oil, but I'm deeply invested into my placebos. Let me preach about the good word of curcumin, 5-methylfolate, and magnesium malate. Let me suggest a supplement for your every pain. Let me heal you.
Worse than finals, because at least there are no classes during finals and once you submit your essays and tests then you are actually done. Midterms you have to also be going to class, working on homework, and taking tests. Plus, your professors have all conspired to keep you at your desk when all you want is to be outside during one of the best times of the year. Everyone is sick too so you better dodge every cough molecule hanging in the air.
Some people drink black coffee, I eat plain greek yogurt. You can dress it up with a little avocado oil, vanilla extract, and a few pieces of fresh or freeze dried fruit. The real secret is that this yogurt tastes the same as sour cream, but you can get away with eating it because yogurt is socially acceptable. Minus one yogurt bowl because it's pretty sour, though it's overall very nutritious and travels well to school.
I’m always getting a little snacky around Christopher’s apartment, and he always says, “Why don’t you have some Trader Joe’s Squiggly Noodles with Soy & Sesame Sauce?” And listen, the taste is fine but it’s all starch, no substance. I could see this being the base of a dish but it at least needs some eggs if not some chicken and avocado.
He’s just a real honest guy, your average red state American type. A Baptist, a Marine Corp vet, loves his wife and kid. This guy’ll talk you for a long time about life, and you feel like you’ve been invited to have a cold one with the boys. He also always shows me how he’s fixing my house and then he’ll go on a rant about very astute housing policy and how it’s unfair I’m renting. He’ll let you know what God thinks, but then he’ll remind you he isn’t God and doesn’t really mind the gays like the big man does.
Really a great burger, but it's true. You're either going to have to do calculus to decide if they'll be open when you arrive, or go off the vibe that they'll probably be closed when you think it's a normal time to get burger. You can tell that they don't really want you to come visit their restaurant, so it's best to not make any sudden disturbances lest you be barred from ever visiting again. The traffic situation isn't the worst, but it's certainly not ideal for someone from a little town. You're going to have to dodge children crossing the street, carefully navigate their steep driveway, and make a U-turn.
Unless you are a DC political science nerd or economist, playing this game is an exercise in watching Grant play the game through your hands. It's going to involve a lot of leaning over and letting Grant peak at your cards, and then seeing a twinkle of joy in the eyes of your oldest brother as he formulates the optimal strategy for your resources. I pulled off a win last game as we all rushed towards Berlin. Extra fun when Jacob brings you coffee and cracks history jokes the entire time. Definitely worth the extra weight in Grant's luggage anytime he comes to visit.
The morning sludge is the perfect breakfast and has been for the last three years. It's chocolate-macadamia nut, which is surprisingly much better than the typical chocolate-peanut butter you find in most protein supplement meals. It's mostly fat and protein, so it's definitely best enjoyed as a sipping experience. If you chug this your intestines are in for a real experience. If consumed at a responsible speed, your metabolism is off to a nice, mellow start for the day. Roommates do not enjoy watching me drink this from pickle jars, but I have found they find it much more acceptable if I drink it from a Blender Bottle. Classmates have thought I was sipping on a sourdough starter. Minus .5 sludge jars because you have to order it online and it's pretty pricey.
Colds used to be exciting as a kid. Your mom would make you soup and you would get the whole house to yourself during the day. You could play Xbox as long as you wanted, and if your cough sounded wet enough you would get the next day off of school too. As an adult, you just have to lay around feeling sicker than you ever felt as a kid. If you play the Xbox, you do it with the guilt of procrastinating working on all the make up work you'll have.
| Stuffy Nose |  |
| Runny Nose | |
| Being Sent to the Leper Colony | |
| Cough Drops | |
| Chicken Noodle Soup | |
I basically only read my siblings tweets. Then I pretend that I'm not even on social media these days even though I send them likes. So far I have fooled them.
I wish half the days in a week were rainy days and we didn't have to go to work. You get to invite friends over for a good soup meal, a chat by the window, and don't get me started on how exciting it is to drive in the rain when the droplets hit your car with just the right amount of intensity and your wipers are set to the perfect frequency. When your friends are busy, it becomes a perfect day to spend a few solid hours in your garage working on one day projects.
| Anticipatory Comfort |  |
| Sound | |
| Worms | |