Bananas
They’re fine i guess, but I’m never impressed by them. It’s like mashed potatoes in a fleshy gogurt tube with a flavor that is somehow both incredibly distinct and extraordinarily meh. I don’t want them to go extinct but if they did it wouldn’t ruin my day. If that happened I probably wouldn’t find out for a long time and I’d honestly keep forgetting that bananas don’t exist. It’s off putting how un-fruit like they are, not an ounce of juice in the whole damn thing. I’m surprised when they dehydrate them they don’t just stay the same. I guess they have potassium or whatever, so thats something, but what the hell even is potassium? I’m supposed to need something I cant even see? Or what, I’ll die? Besides, a nutrient with the word “pot” in it cant be taken too seriously. In conclusion, bananas are boring and worth very little attention from anyone, they’re mostly good for buying once a quarter and never eating them, because at first they’re too green, and then for a window of maybe 9 hours they’re ripe, but before you eat them you remember again that bananas are nothing special, and many more things in your house are more worth eating, and then it gets too ripe so you put it in your freezer like “i guess it will be good in a smoothie?” But then you never make the smoothie because you remember that smoothies are also pretty meh, they’re not much healthier than a milkshake and they make a goddam mess of your kitchen, and then you forget to clean out the blender because you didn’t really want to, and now the seeds from some raspberries have dried under the blades and you cant get them clean so the next time you go to put overripe bananas in the freezer you see the bananas from the last iteration and are now confronted by the complete ‘banana’lity of existence and wish you spent that banana money on literally anything else. 2 and a half stars. Also they’re yellow, it’s like they’re not even trying. Whatever.
