patty.reviews

Objects

Kitchen Knife

4.0
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Great for taking whole things and making them into many things. I use it often, i used it today, i cut some baby carrots in half the long ways, ive been experimenting lately with eating vegetables with mixed results. Anyways, the knife is a great tool for the kitchen and it always nice to know its got my back in a jiffy just in case someone (or some ‘thing’!) comes stormin in to my kitchen ready to take my life. If it werent for the few times the knife totally betrayed me and cut me instead of a baby carrot, it would be an easy 5 stars. But if you’re worried about cutting yourself, just do what i do and keep your knives dull. The safest knife is a dull knife. Think about it, the dullest knife in the world would basically be a spoon. And if you had the sharpest knife in the world, if you dropped it, it would hit the ground and just start slicing through your floor and just keep going into the earth slicing away until the whole planet was cut in half like a goddam deviled egg killing everyone you know including the people that you claim to ‘love’ and yet you never seem to make time for them and now the earth has been cut in half by a knife you over sharpened and its too late. 4 stars.

The W Train NYC

1.5
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Squeaky as hell!

Iphone 16 Pro

3.0
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Basically identical to the last one.

French Horn

3.3
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I understand it has its place in an orchestra or whatever, but frankly its a little lame. And what weirdo designed it so you’re forced to put your fist in it as you play? It is nice in that one neil young song but thats about it. A heyday of literally one song in 1970. Even in concert young uses a harmonica for what used to be the french horn’s only solo, and who could blame him, he has a reputation to keep after all. Anyways, go join the bland instrument table with the bongos and the bassoon, you know where you belong.

A nice mellow sound that rounds out the brass section. Not the star of the show but doesn't need to be. An honest instrument.

Like if a trumpet married a tumbleweed. Completely ridiculous instrument, big fan.