Media

grantpatty

Tactical milsim shooter that lets you indulge your thin blue line fantasies of inflicting state violence on those who would bring chaos to order. Plot is a non chronological series of increasingly depraved situations pulled straight from the lurid nightmares of qanon and 4chan. Basically a right win...

1

grantpatty

Basically a perfect medieval RPG in a beautiful setting. Made by a bunch of Czech history nerds and it shows, a fitting sequel

chrisjpatty

Kinda bored me honestly. The atmosphere is interesting for a second but it doesn't really go anywhere. A true walking simulator.

grantpatty

Very good walking simulator game based on a 1960s Polish hard sci fi novel. Everything looks so old and Soviet, very lonely desolate vibes. No health or game mechanics really but space still feels tense and threatening the whole time. Looks gorgeous and feels creepy in the best way.

chrisjpatty

It's taken me a while to write this review, I needed a few days after to think about it. When this musical first came out I was in high school, preparing to serve a mission, and I was as mormon as they reasonably come. I remember assuming it was just "anti-mormon" propaganda, but after the church us...

jacobpatty

If this trilogy doesn’t deserve 5 stars than nothing does

rebeccapatty

A failure of modern shooters are the extensive features. I don't want a complicated UI devoted to leveling up my character. I don't want to have so many attacks that you can button mash your way through the levels. Halo avoids all of this. There are aliens. They are quasi-religious about some myster...

Aliens
Zombies
Cortana
The Arbiter
Couch Rotting Post Graduation

2

chrisjpatty

One of those transcendent works of art that makes you feel like no matter how much you labor and pine, you’ll never create anything of true artistic value in your entire life. Also very jazzy.

chrisjpatty

Not bad. The cinematics are wayyyyyy too long, but the premise and gameplay are actually pretty fun. It made for a great podcast game where I could just zone in and out any time.

grantpatty

Opens with 90 minutes of weird cutscenes before the first real gameplay which turns out to be hauling your mother's corpse up a mountain to be incinerated or else it's explodes in some sort of ghostly nuke thing. Also she was the president of the united states? And there's a little fetus in a jar th...

chrisjpatty

It has been 6 months of the most unwell women you’ve ever seen pawing at each other and never forming a single coherent sentence. It’s like a game show where contestants have to survive high doses of carbon monoxide. There have been phrases spoken on this tour that have now permanently entered my le...

grantpatty

CoD has been scraping the bottom of the barrel for a while but this slop really takes the cake. It's terrible!

chrisjpatty

Felt like a time capsule of a simpler time in the 2000’s. The overall theme seems to be “Maybe the baddies are good if you look at it the right way”. That’s a totally reasonable message in the cultural context of a world that was actively debating Islam in America, gay marriage, whether or not to go...

Music
Set design
Story

rachaelpatty

Surpassed all expectations that I didn’t even have

chrisjpatty

Every play should be a little weirdo’s silly bit that got out of hand and made it on Broadway somehow.

grantpatty

A great sequel to a great puzzle game, though it lacks the moody mysterious loneliness of the original it makes up for it in the new mechanics that make the first game feel like tic tac toe.

chrisjpatty

Really intriguing and moving in a way I didn’t really expect. Saying something meaningful in the medium of video games is really difficult, but the Kryatzes managed to pull it off. It’s so rare to see media about techno optimism, and seeing a valorization of man over nature felt extremely refreshing...

grantpatty

The best 18xx train game around. A few simple changes from the stock rules of 1830 leads to an incredible 4 hour brain melter. Deeply strategic stock trading meets unforgiving track engineering. Perfect.

chrisjpatty

I really wanted to like this album. I’m a contrarian by nature and seeing people decide ahead of time that it would be bad because they dislike Katy Perry for obscure sociopolitical reasons had me primed to call it a masterpiece, but there’s maybe 3 songs on this album total that even deserve a repe...

jacobpatty

Really good for driving. Make a man feel as though one of these days God’s punishment will come both just and swift but it ain’t today, today you can just keep on driving.

chrisjpatty

I made this site so by all rights I should give it 5 stars, but there's a certain level of narcissism involved in spending an ungodly amount of time making a site to catalog mine and my family's opinions so I'm taking a star off as penance.

grantpatty

We're right about everything so of course this is 5/5

jacobpatty

I like it, but I can’t give it a full 5 stars because there is a part of me, a very small amount though, that feels just a tiny little bit narcissistic about thinking me and my family members have the most interesting opinions on everything.

rachaelpatty

Perfect for anyone who’s ever thought “the Pattys have the best opinions on everything, I wish I had a catalog of everything they’ve ever had an opinion on”

chrisjpatty

Basically Facebook at this point.

rachaelpatty

Rebecca refuses to like anything on Twitter but when you tell her a funny little anecdote she says “oh yeah I saw your tweet”

rebeccapatty

I basically only read my siblings tweets. Then I pretend that I'm not even on social media these days even though I send them likes. So far I have fooled them.

jacobpatty

Yeah, it has gone down hill fo sho.

grantpatty

Not nearly as fun as it used to be.